Mania: Rollercoaster

Start low

dead in mind

sense of self none existent

my hands covered in sours

limp and useless

teeth so grimy

 may as well be toothless

but 

AH!

YES!

Here it is!

The feeling rushes

crushes down the dark tower

feel it,

RIGHT NOW!

This is the hour

jump out the bed

shake the rage out of my head

move down, feel flow

here we go

this how it should be

my heart feels bliss

that quante emotion known as happy

ecstatic elated jovial gay galant galavanting grandiose great I feel great this is I can hold this if I just hold

on

but

that

won't

last

and it never does.

Familiar territory. Here we are, the past in my hands draining through the crack

I could close them, but no no

the cracks stay

the past falls

the filter keeps the stains

all the doubt the grief the shame the pity the jealousy the anger at my self why why why do I do this

Night Time Now

Tire

Sleep comes easy

but the next hit of joy has to be scraped off the crust